Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Honorary Degree

I’ve long contended that an advanced degree in engineering is required to successfully assemble (and sometimes even take out of the box) many children’s toys. Some of the things I’ve encountered border on ridiculous. To name a few:

1. A play kitchen that had pieces “A” through “AT” (going from “Z” to “AA”), had over 100 screws, and took about 2.5 hours (locking myself in Big Brother's room) to assemble. (And Mom-E had to distract the boys with a movie because they really wanted to "help", aka tear up the styrofoam packaging).
2. A remote-controlled bulldozer that was held in place in the packaging by 15 SCREWS. "Dad-E, I want to play with it NOW! What's taking you so long?" (Don't teach the boys any new words, don't teach them any new words...)
3. Any toy that is held into place in the package with those darn twist ties. They are always wrapped around the wheels 97 times in 8 different directions, and you need a map to untwist them.

That said, I love my boys, and I’m willing to put in the time, effort, and frustration (though I’ve been able to restrain myself from teaching them any choice words) to make them happy.

And so, Fellow Dad-E’s and Mom-E’s, it’s time to stand up and be recognized for our efforts! I present to you an Honorary Engineering “Degree” from Busy-Dad-E Universit-E. Just print out the attached certificate above (suitable for framing) and fill in the name and date of the awardee. All that is required is that you successfully assemble a child’s toy that does not fall apart (and without swearing). There are even spaces where you can affix (up to 10) stars to recognize yourself for additional achievements in the field of child toy assembly.

Please share with your friends. Enjoy!


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  1. I'm not sure if Mom-E's Dad would qualify for this award b/c of certain stipulations. hee hee

  2. Ha ha ha...this is so right on! I hate those twist ties.

  3. I like the star idea. That way you never stop achieving. Aim for the stars! haha

  4. Yes, at Busy-Dad-E Universit-E we are committed to continuing education, hence the opportunity to earn additional star stickers even after you've completed your "degree"