Wednesday, November 18, 2009

If I Behaved Like My Kids at Work

So Mom-E and I were sitting at the dinner table last night (the boys had long abandoned ship and were off wreaking havoc throughout the house and we didn't want to share any dessert with them), when we started talking about how funny it would be if I acted like the boys when I was at work.

I'll give you just a snapshot, pretty much re-enacting the boys' behavior this evening.


I'd start by heading to lunch naked from the waist down.

"Uh, Dad-E, do you want to put some pants on?" my boss-E would ask.

"I don't want pants!" I'd exclaim, running in the opposite direction.

I'd run to the potty, where I'd pee with the door wide open, and just not forget to wash my hands.

Then I'd proceed to sit on the floor and play with toys while everybody else eats.
When lunch is over, as everyone is headed back to work, I'd go whine to the boss-E, "But I'm hungry. I want something to eat."

Within the first 15 minutes of returning to work, I'd have to go the boss-E to complain that, "So-and-so HIT me!"

(I would neglect to mention that I shoved my co-worker just before being hit.)

If the boss-E asked me to do ANY work, I would proceed to have a temper-tantrum on the floor. And then ask for goldfish.

Then I would just go ahead and take EVERY item out of my desk and throw it on the floor. I would then ask my boss-E to pick all the stuff up for me.

If asked why I wasn't helping to pick things, I'd explain that "I can't", while continuing to play with a pencil.

Then I'd ask my boss-E to carry me around in his arms while HE cleans up my office.

And, of course, I'd have to take a 3 hour nap during the middle of the day. Man, that would be SWEET!

Then after my nap, I'd watch some tv.

When the boss-E again tries to get me to do some actual work, I'd whine about, "Can I watch another Thundercats, please?"

Then I'd beg the boss to let me go play outide in the afternoon. He'd try to tell me that the work day is almost over, but I'd insist on playing outside anyway.

Finally, I'd decide that I have to poop, but I'd insist that the boss-E sit in the bathroom with me and read stories.

And I imagine at that point I'd be asked to take the rest of the day off. Now that would be REALLY SWEET!

See you on Fatherhood Friday,


  1. I'd like to see the look on your boss-E's face when you inform him that you need help wiping.

  2. LOL! Thanks for the laugh! Rosi

  3. Oh my! I'm afraid the Boss-E would have Dad-E's head in an MRI to see what in the world was wrong.....

  4. What a day that would be! I agree with WeaselMomma! Love, Aunt-E

  5. Great post! Lovely way to end my work day.

  6. Boss-E would let you play outside and then lock you out or take you to a psychiatrist pronto. LOL

  7. At least you have given me some new ideas on how to get fired should I ever need to use them. Funny post.

  8. Big brother asks to have stories read to him while he poops? It's not like it takes him that long... he's usually sitting, standing, then running around the house half naked in about 4 min. flat for me.

    CY Aunt-E