Sunday, July 18, 2010

I Wet My Bed, Dad-E

One of my favorite all-time movies is John Candy in Summer Rental

And below is one of my favorite all-time lines from the movie.

John Candy's family finds out they're staying in the wrong rental house. When the real renters show up, John Candy and his family must leave in the middle of the night. He goes to carry his little girl out of the house, when she says:

I don't know how it happened, but I swear that Little Brother got up in the middle of the night, downloaded and watched that scene from Netflix.

The day before Mom-E's surgery last week, Little Brother fell asleep in the van bringing Big Brother home from "summer school."

Mom-E carried Little Brother inside, and managed to put him down on the guest bed--where Grampap-E would sleep that night--without waking him up.

Murphy's Law would dictate that the dependably continent Little Brother would spew a yellow geyser while napping, soaking all layers--comforter, duvet, sheet, fitted sheet, and mattress pad--about an hour before Grampap-E showed up.

"I went pee-pee in your bed, Pap-Pap." he told him, honestly.


Fast forward to the night of Mom-E's surgery. After Mom-E was all tucked in her room for the evening, I went home and Grampap-E and I got the boys ready for bed. In "self-defense", after all the necessary housework was done, I made a bee-line for bed at about 11:30.

I enjoyed about 4 hours of sleep, after which the following ensued:

3:30 am Bab-E Brother wakes up screaming and hungry.

3:35 am Bab-E Brother and I are heating up his bottle downstairs.

4:00 am Bab-E Brother has FINALLY finished casually savoring every last drop of his bottle, has been rocked, and is calm enough to be put back in his crib.

4:10 am Little Brother awakens SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER and wants to get into bed with me.

4:11 am In an attempt to avoid waking up Bab-E Brother, Little Brother is snugly in bed with me.

4:30 am Bab-E Brother wakes up SCREAMING. Re-inserting binkie does not do the trick.

5:00 am Bab-E Brother has FINALLY calmed down again such that he is willing to go back into his crib

5:01 am Little Brother screams, "MY PANTS ARE WET"



5:02 am Damage Report

-Little Brother was getting out of bed (presumably to go potty).
-Little Brother's pull-up had been pulled off well before this guessed it...Little Brother
-Little Brother has flooded Mom-E and Dad-E's bed, while trying to get down/out of it.
-This means that pee has soaked through EVERY POSSIBLE LAYER OF BED, including: Sheet, Fitted Sheet, Matress Pad, Pillow Top, Dust Ruffle, AND Box Spring!

(You can only imagine what kind of angle he'd have to pee from to douse all of that.)

5:05 am Little Brother in new jammies wrapped in blanket on the floor of my bedroom

5:06-5:30 am Dad-E is pulling all layers of bedding off into a "peed on" pile. He then pulls both mattress and box springs off the bed. He then proceeds to use towels and Spot Shot to remove as much pee as possible from mattress and box springs

5:30 am Dad-E and Little Brother go crash on the couch in the play room.

6:30 am Dad-E oversleeps his alarm.

Etc, Etc, Etc.

Fast-forward to Mom-E comes home from the hospital and is ready to crash in our bed.

Little Brother casually informs her, "I went pee-pee in your bed. Dad-E and I slept on the couch in the playroom."

"Thanks. Just Big Brother's bed is left for the trifecta!"

Could somebody please cancel his subscription to Netflix?!?

Have a good--no pee in the bed--week,


  1. No more Netflix for Little Brother! :)

    Reading your post I felt exhausted! I could see you trying to clean up the bedding and the bed and box spring and mattress and I felt for you. I hope you are "pee free" this week.

  2. I feel your pain and remember many similar nights of 3 am sheet washing.
    I hope you catch a break soon.

  3. Oh, I have been there and done that. Hope the weeks goes better for you. Rosi

  4. We haven't had any children pee in our bed, but I remember changing the duvet cover, sheets, all of my clothing, etc in the middle of the night due to a massive spit up. I hope you are done with the pee pee incidents....tell Big brother to watch out for his mattress, could be next! love, aunt-e