Breakfast of Chaos Champions

So it's been quite some time since I've written one of THESE posts.

You know, the one where I tell you about how otherwise fun or simple things become not fun or all-day ordeals.

Well, just because I haven't written about them doesn't mean they haven't happened.

The other weekend we made plans to go out for breakfast.

The restaurant was running an online special for a free breakfast entree for adults.

We thought the boys would have fun.

They thought otherwise.

The evening before,we'd had a family gathering with friends and their kids, and the boys were up WAY TOO LATE.
This made for the perfect day to get up early and go out for breakfast.

NOT.

They woke up hungry, cranky, and wanted a "pre-breakfast" of cereal and toaster waffles as an 'appetizer'.

Then there was the massive screaming fit about not wanting to get dressed and wanting to watch 5 hours of cartoons before leaving.

And so we loaded the boys up in the van (in white coats) and everyone was quite "cheerful", and by cheerful I mean ticked at the world.

We arrive at the restaurant, put Bab-E Brother's shoes back on as usual, and drag bring the boys inside.

Of course, the only thing they'll eat is chocolate milk. Attempting to offer other food risks more screaming.

We sit down.

Little Brother proceeds to drop the coin he was holding and has a very loud, frantic spell over it's whereabouts.

Big Brother invades Little Brother's personal space, which results in another "loud exchange."

Meanwhile, Mom-E and I are trying to put straws into milk.

But they don't have any kids bendy straws. COMPLETELY OUT.

This isn't an issue for the older boys, but Bab-E Brother can't handle a regular straw.

With one glance away, Bab-E Brother proceeds to tip up the milk, spilling it all over himself.

Then somebody has to pee.

Mom-E and I are beginning to get mortified by all of the commotion that we're making. We seem to be repelling other customers away from our table like Dementors with a Patronus Charm.

"Dad-E, can we..."

"No."

"go to..."

"No."

"the..."

"No."

"playground."

"NO!"

"I think we've had enough fun already this morning."

Sometimes Mom-E and I wish we could just take pills and not have to eat.