Thursday, December 3, 2009

Don't Touch My Butt

Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone!

Just want to clarify that at no point before, during, or after the writing of this post was there any actual hand-backside contact. Nor is this a post about cigarettes. You'll see.

And while you're looking around, don't forget to visit, and all of the great bloggers over there!

So Wednesday Mom-E had her latest OB appointment, and the whole gang came along, due to the occasion of the 3rd trimester ultrasound.

Everyone, the boys included, was excited about seeing "pictures" of Bab-E.

The boys were fired up in usual form, sans nap and having only picked at lunch, except to drink their chocolate milk, resulting in the following equation:

Tired + No Nap = Hyperactive + Chocolate milk = Urinary urgency

Big Brother had to go, which meant Little Brother wanted to come, too.

Since going potty is a "boy thing" for us, I took them. Big Brother went first to avoid any flood damage in the OB's office.

Then it was Little Brother's turn. Despite just turning 2, he's shown a lot of interest--and some moderate success--in going #1 in the big boy potty.

We bought him a portable, plastic, Elmo potty seat, lest his BUTT fall into the potty.

Today he did not want to use the Elmo potty seat, but preferred to "stand".

And by "stand", I mean I hold him up to improve his general aim, since the potty comes up to his mid-chest.

PICTURE IT: I'm (gently) harping at Big Brother to stop parading around naked in the bathroom and pull up his pants, while holding up Little Brother in mid-air so that he can pee like his Big Brother. (Both of my hands are under his armpits).

As you can imagine, Little Brother takes several moments to "think" before going potty. (Read: he's taking his sweet-BUTT time).

Eventually, my shoulders get a little fatigued from holding 25 lbs fully extended in front of me. I opt to "prop him up" by resting his BUTT on my knee.

Instantly, Little Brother blurts out LOUDLY, "DON'T TOUCH MY BUTT!"

Mortified, I can only imagine that the entire OB office is eavesdropping at the bathroom door, and that Child Services is poised to take them away the moment we step outside.

Fortunately, Little Brother successfully goes potty, and we successfully exit the bathroom, apparently not having drawn attention to ourselves.

We proceed to make it back to ultrasound.

We were most thankful that Bab-E is growing (almost too) well, and that all parts appear to be intact and functional. And he is still clearly a boy.

A major reason for our thanks is that they spotted some excess fluid around one of his kidneys on the 2nd trimester ultrasound. While this is a common finding, especially in males and usually of no significance, Little Brother had the same issue, and for him it did not go away.

This meant a referral to Pediatric Urology, fears of the need for surgery in the first year of life, a bunch of tests, and ultimately the relief that it's just an anatomical variant of no significance. Had they not done a 3rd trimester ultrasound, you'd never know there was an abnormality.

And so, we're very relieved that Bab-E will not have to endure what Little Brother has gone through.

I'd love to show you ultrasound pictures, only Bab-E is of sufficient size and was hiding his face such that we really couldn't see anything.

The one picture they gave us looks like a hand trying to touch a BUTT. No joke.

Have a good "hands-off" weekend,


  1. We have yet to have any embarrassing situations with the kids yelling out seemingly inappropriate comments in public.

    But I do have one from my childhood. When my little brother started school. He was told that he was smart by his teacher. I told him that when you're really smart, it means that you're constipated. So at the grocery store, he's sitting in the basket and he yells in the check out line.

    Hey Everybody!!! I'm Constipated!!!

    He's getting married soon. Can you say wedding story?

    Glad that everything is good with the baby. Hope the house is coming along too..

  2. great story! This was great.....I also loved Juggling Eric's story! My friend said that her mother took her daughter shopping. I guess her mother had to make a bathroom stop. then when they got to the check out counter, the little girl said "Grammy went poo poo". Oh man! good stuff! Love, aunt-e

  3. a previous social worker I could totally relate to your bathroom situation. Kids do say the darnest things...LOL! Rosi

  4. that's very funny in the bathroom. With all boys myself I've had some similar sittuations but so far niether has yelled that out! I know what you're describing of holding the boy up to the urinal, definately a memorable dad moment!

  5. Glad that Bab-E is growing nicely. Potty training in public restrooms is always such a joy. Good luck.

  6. hahahaha... I bet if anyone heard that they were just laughing or assumed it was big brother being annoying towards little brother. That's hilarious.

    CY Aunt-E

  7. haha potty training and bathroom adventures are always fun. be grateful you don't have girls, because as they get older, they are constantly going to the bathroom in packs. not only that, they have to go to the bathroom in EVERY place they're at.

    glad bab-e is growing well. when i saw the title of your post all i could think about is that fish in nemo talking bout how the other one is going to touch the butt. lol