Wednesday, January 27, 2010

To Have And To Hold

We've been at 3 kids for a few weeks now.

So far, outside of the fatigue associated with having a newborn, I'd say that the transition from 1 to 2 kids was harder than 2 to 3, and I think Mom-E agrees with me here.

When you go from 1 to 2 kids, as parents you no longer have an "extra pair of free hands" to do things (or REST), and that takes some getting used to. Going from 2 to 3, you're more accustomed to having your "hands tied" (and the insomnia).

However, given the ages of our boys (5, 2, and newborn), one thing has been a bit challenging:

Carrying multiple children when you're by yourself.

Fortunately, Big Brother is old enough to walk by himself (and we gave him some advanced notice that he'd have to do a lot of that after Bab-E Brother came along), except in occasional moments of tantrum.

By contrast:
1. Little Brother is accumstomed to having Dad-E carry him around A LOT

2. Bab-E Brother is exclusively breastfed, and despite the claim by Gaylord M. Focker, Dad-E is unable to be milked.

3. When Bab-E Brother is hungry, Dad-E's attempts to sing, rock, and calm him are futile, and screaming prevails.

4. Sometimes Bab-E Brother likes to feed for 30 minutes every half-hour, and so even if he just ate, he may want to eat again 15 minutes later.

5. If Dad-E is holding Bab-E Brother when Little Brother wants to be held, he screams, "Give Bab-E to Mom-E!", and screaming prevails.

6. While Dad-E is holding one of the boys, the other will poop.

Herein lies the problem.

As you can imagine, Mom-E likes to shower, exercise, and even go potty occasionally.

And so, invariably, while Mom-E is showering or exercising, both Little and Bab-E Brother are screaming and wanting me to hold them due to the need for food, a clean diaper, or consolation.

It feels like one of those "What would you do if both of your children were bit by a lethally poisonous snake, you only have enough anti-venom to save one (and it requires the entire vial), and the poison will kill them before you can get help. Who do you save?" questions.

I've tried, and don't recommend, carrying both (just long enough to sit down on the couch). It doesn't work, other than building my biceps.

If Little Brother poops, I'll put Bab-E Brother down in the crib for a minute to change Little Bro, but then I really don't have a choice to but to put him down and pick-up the baby.

Poor Little Brother, age 2 and all grown-up. Hold-on, my man. It'll get better.

Anyone have a potion or spell to help me grow an extra pair of arms? And can you throw a second pair for Mom-E?

Mom-E, how 'bout some of them "fake arms"? (inside joke)

See you on Fatherhood Friday,


  1. On a positive note, once parents become outnumbered by their offspring it doesn't matter if you have 3 or 12.
    Never fear. Soon all that crying will just turn into some white noise around you and you won't need those extra arms.

  2. When I had two, I felt competent. When I had three, I felt like a crazy person.

    You're about to learn the fine art of juggling.

  3. Anytime you need perspective, hang out with someone who has twins, or 9 kids. Seriously! Being a mom to 5 feels EASY after I spend a day w/ my gf who has 9 or my gf who has 6 including 2 sets of twins.

  4. If we have any more kids they better be much more calm and quiet than Braden or two may be more than I can handle.

  5. I'm sure Little brother will soon be very independent. This will just make him stronger, as the saying goes! haha....middle children RULE! I'm glad you guys are adjusting well! Love, aunt-e

  6. @WM: We felt a little outnumbered with 2, but it's good to hear that the crying ends.

    @CK's L: I agree that it's a juggling act.

    @Melissa: The perspective definitely helps. I laugh at the fact that we used to feel overwhelmed when we only had Big Brother.

    @Otter: I contend that 2 kids outnumber 2 parents, regardless of their temperament.

    @Aunt-E: Oh yeah, Little Brother already wants to do many things by himself (in those moments I'm not carrying him).