Friday, January 29, 2010

What Not To Wear...At Gymnastics

Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone! I encourage you to jump, tubmle, and flip your way over to read the great bloggers over at

So, for natural reasons, Bab-E Brother has been getting a lot of my blogging attention lately.

And on Wednesday, Little Brother took much of the "spotlight" while screaming to be held.

Thus, today it's Big Brother's turn, and I'm ready for another sports story.

To the chagrin of many, Big Brother has elected not to renew his participation in soccer.

Instead he's decided to move his jumping, tumbling, and flipping from inside our house to outside of it at Gymnastics.

So far, he's having a ball. Asks to go to gymnastics most everyday.

However, he almost never made it in to the first (trial) lesson.

On the way there, it's important to note that Big Brother was VERY excited about going to gymnastics.

We're standing in the "gathering area" outside the gym, waiting for the coach to call his group back. We tell Big Brother he can take his shoes and socks off, and put them in one of the many cubbies on the wall.

Suddenly, Big Brother runs out of the gathering area, and backs against the wall, screaming BLOODY MURDER.

"No, no, no! Let's go! I don't want to go to gymnastics! Let's go home! I want to go home NOW! Get outta here!"

We try to talk to him to find out what's so upsetting to him, but he's still screaming hysterically such that any attempt to use logic is futile.

Of course, with a newborn, a toddler, and a screaming 5 year-old, we stand out "a little bit."

Meanwhile, I'm feeling the hot laser beams burning the back of my head from all of the eyes in the room.

Distracted by the lights from the laser beams, Big Brother blurts out, "I don't want to wear one of THOSE."

"One of what?" I asked, trying to figure out what the heck he's pointing at.

Finally, I see him point at a gaggle of schoolgirls, when it dawns on us...


Ahh, a major challenge of parenthood in a microcosm: Find out what's upsetting them, and the magic road to your child's happiness is revealed.

We pretty much just had to say, "You're a boy. You can wear what you're wearing," and he was off bouncing into a giant pit of foam.

Ah, apparently great gymnastics stories run in families.

I, too, did gymnastics for a few years in my boyhood.

It was my first meet, and it was the first thing my dad ever videotaped.

I was on vault.

In short, the coach misplaced the location of the springboard.

I go flying down the "runway" and jump where the board SHOULD'VE been, only I landed in between the springboard and the vault horse.

My momentum carried me face first into the horse.

There was blood, but fortunately all teeth remained in my head.

Again, my father catches all of this on videotape.

And the worst part was that they had to give me a score of 0.0.


Have a good weekend,

P.S. Please don't tell Big Brother that if he does gymnastics for long enough, that the top of competition uniforms is, in fact, a LEOTARD. Seriously. No joke. Shhh!


  1. It's funny how even at 5, little boys naturally know what not to wear.
    Can you ask your dad if he can digitize that video for posting?

  2. This is a great story, and I love the Dad-E story thrown in there! Guess you guys will have to turn the tv off if any competitive male gymnastics comes on! Love aunt-e

  3. Your secret is safe with me...but ONLY if I get to see the video LOL


  4. So when is that video going to be posted?? :-) We want that video!!

  5. That's big brother...BOY through and through!!
    PS: I'm glad you didn't lose any teeth or suffer any brain damage. Haha

  6. @WM: Yep, Boys have intuition about what not to wear, and what is dessert. That video is harder to find than a John Edwards "private" tape.

    @Aunt-E: Fortunately you can't see that the competitive uniform tops are leotards because they're covered up by the pants.

    @BellaDaddy: Perhaps we can arrange a private screening for blog regulars.

    @Oshea: Tell everybody you know to come read my blog, and I'll think about tracking down the video. :)

    @Gramm-E: Yep, teeth still intact, but the brain damage is questionable.

  7. I will NEVER tell Big Brother about the leotard . . . if I'm included in the private screening of the video. :) I have to say when I read about your experience with gymnastics all I could think of was OUCH! Made me glad I never took up the sport . . .

  8. @Surprised Mom: We'll host the screening once WM gets her big check. Yeah, I was a little afraid to vault after my first meet, and my gymnastics career ended shortly thereafter.