Road Warriors

The subtitle of this post is “Mom-E’s & Dad-E’s Don’t Let Your Toddler Play in Raw Sewage”.

Read on.

When I was a kid, we drove EVERYWHERE when we went on trips and vacations. I was 18 the first time I flew (to Europe no less, on a spring break trip with our senior English class.)

(Turns out we probably drove everyone because at least 2 of my immediate family members were borderline phobic about flying.)

And so, I have some fond memories of these car trips.

Last week we skipped town and the whole gang travelled in the minivan to a conference I attended.

We drove 600 miles each way, divided over 2 days, for a grand total of 4 days and no less than 97 pee stops (including 4 in a span of under 75 miles).

Before you start asking yourself why Mom-E and I would willingly subject ourselves to such a sojourn with 3 boys age 5, 2, and 2 months, check out my Fatherhood Friday post from last week (HYPERLINK).

In short, despite the utter chaos at times, a toddler with intermittent explosive diarrhea, all of those pee stops, and 5 people crammed into a hotel room, the trip was exactly what we needed.

What can I say, we like each other’s company.

No movies (we were too tired and forgot them), not much tv, just enjoying time together as a family, complete with Big Brother providing entertainment at the pee stops by dancing IN the minivan to the “Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground.

****
There were a number of additional highlights on the trip, ones that you don’t get if you fly.

1. One is definitely that small boys LOVE and are ENDLESSLY ENTERTAINED by elevators.

(I wish we could modify the plans of our new house to include an elevator. Yeah, right.)

The boys were borderline obsessed with pushing the buttons. Big Brother even figured out how to (very helpfully) navigate the “open door” and “close door” buttons. Whenever Big Brother said “I want to push the button”, Little Brother echoed with “I want to push the BUTT, TOO!”

2. Second, Fruit Loops do not fare well in the microwave. (This one is funny now, but not so funny at the time.)

3. LASTLY, DON’T LET YOUR TODDLERS PLAY IN RAW SEWAGE.

At the halfway point of our drive back, we pulled into the hotel at around 10:30pm (after an enjoyable dinner with our friend Rosi and her girls). All 3 boys were asleep.

Amazingly, we were able to get all of them into the room and into bed without waking them up. (Thanks to several kind folks who held doors for us—people are so much nicer when they drive instead of fly.)

After retrieving the rest of our stuff, we promptly managed to clog the toilet.

However, just before going to bed, it appeared that the toilet had spontaneously unclogged.

Apparently, it hadn’t.

I flushed and started to get into bed.

Hearing a funny sound, I went back into the bathroom, greeted by the sight of raw sewage overflowing from the toilet.

I managed to shut off the water, but not before there was a thin layer of water covering the bathroom, and about a 3 square-foot area of carpet outside the bathroom door.

We sopped up most of the water with all available towels, and were given a bunch of extras (and a plunger) by hotel staff.

Fast forward to the next morning.

We’re about ready to leave to checkout, the carpet still very damp with raw sewage.

Mom-E is feeding Bab-E Brother on the bed farthest from the door.

I gathered up two armfuls of things to make a trip to start loading the car.

Little Brother realized I was leaving just as the door was closing, gathered up his blankie, and charged towards me.

I heard Mom-E yell “no”, I put the luggage down, and swiped my card to get back into the room.

But alas, it was too late.

In his rush, Little Brother managed to do a somersault (with his blankie) RIGHT THROUGH THE RAW SEWAGE ON THE CARPET.

He followed this up by trying to dry himself off using the TOWELS WE USED TO CLEAN UP THE WATER IN THE BATHROOM, which made a nice raw sewage-soaked pile.

Needless to say, he (and his blankie) bought himself a bath before we left.

Ah, they were right, driving together definitely makes memories that will last a lifetime.

We’ll have to warn Little Brother’s future wife that he likes to play in raw sewage.

Have a good week,
Busy-Dad-E

You Get What You Need

Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone! This fun event sponsored by dad-blogs.com is entering the "terrible 2's." Before you throw a tantrum, be sure to check out all of the great dad bloggers over there.

So this week the family and I did something absurd foolish crazy because sometimes you just have to.

One week before we were supposed to--keep reading closing on our new house and two weeks before "moving day", we decided to go on a business/vacation trip. I'm at a conference this week (hence no post on Wednesday, sorry)

We decided to bring the whole family, for a number of reasons:
1. The conference schedule was pretty much half-days, allowing for more family fun time than usual.
2. We're celebrating my birthday this weekend (turning 30-something again this year), and I didn't want to be alone.
3. The thought of leaving Mom-E home with the three boys was enough to give anyone a panic attack.
4. We're complete and total suckers who welcome the challenge of DRIVING 600 miles in a minivan with boys age 5, 2, and 7 weeks.

Now before you check my sanity, let me explain.

Mom-E and I have been burning the candle at both ends BIG TIME lately. Between some extra hours at work, keeping the house clean for potential showings, trying to pack for the move, and all the day-to-day operations of a family of 5 (read LAUNDRY. GOBS & GOBS of laundry!), being home has taken on a prison-like quality.

Mom-E and I have been sleep-deprived, which likely contributed to my recent GI illness. And we feel like all we've been doing is yelling at the boys, who probably were suffering from a (relative) lack of attention.

To give you an idea of how tired we were, we brought the portable DVD player, but didn't even think to bring...oh, say...some ACTUAL DVDs for the boys to watch (bought a previously viewed copy of Bolt for $9.99 at a gas station midway).

And so despite a million and one reasons to stay in town, we decided to take the trip.

And despite the potential horrors such a massively long trip with small children, I feel like we've escaped a burning building and can breathe again.

The distractions minimized, the attention back on the boys, we've seen the reemergence of uncontrollable laughter. I've been able to enjoy afternoons playing with the boys without work-related distractions.

Sure, things get a little testy when you have 5 people in a modestly-sized hotel room, but the point is we're enjoying it together.

It makes me think of the Rolling Stones:

"You can't always get what you want (no)
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes...
you just might find...
You get what you need"

We definitely needed the getaway...

...especially after today's news.

4 days before closing on our new house, the builder called us today because of a plumbing problem in the master bath. In short, water ran for about 16 hours and there is extensive damage throughout both floors of the house. They estimate it will take up to 3 more weeks to repair before we can move in. Fortunately, the builders have a tremendous reputation and we're confident will fix things right (albeit we'll still have a home inspector make sure).

It's a blessing that we're far away, because I don't think we'd want to see the house right now.

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me...not.

So what can you get me for my birthday?

1. If you like it, plug my dad-blogs.com Mentally Sexy Contest entry by writing a REVIEW (not just a comment) **HERE**. Any props would be appreciated.

2. If you haven't done so before, drop me a comment on the blog. You can do so anonymously. I'd love to hear from you.

3. Pray that the people who are coming to look at our house on Sunday make an offer.

Anway, I'm with my family right now, and that's what I need.

Have a good weekend,
Busy-Dad-E

I Love To See You Smile

So Bab-E Brother has hit a milestone that usually comes around 6 weeks of age.

He's finding his social smile.

It's amazing. I mean, he was amazing before, but there's just something about that smile which causes him to exude personality.

He suddenly seems so much more "alive", so much more vibrant and interactive (it probably helps, too, that he prefers to be carried facing forward so that he can see everything and take it in--this bears an uncanny resemblance to Big Brother).

Of course, Mom-E was the recipient of the vast majority of the initial smiles.

Despite being just a hair envious, I can't really blame him. I mean, are you going to smile at the pretty lady who is your sole source of food, or the balding guy who brings you to the food? Duh!

But what makes it even better is that I've stumbled upon found a "tactic" that gets him to smile a fair amount of the time. This basially involves kissing him on the cheek repeatedly and making silly noises whilst doing so.

Despite the challenges of trying to snap a picture right at the very moment his smile is ear-to-ear, he's given us permission to post the following pic.

So without further ado, debuting Bab-E Brother and "The Smiles"


I can't wait until he starts giggling.

Have a good week,
Busy-Dad-E

Baptism

Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone! And Happy Birthday to Fatherhood Friday! Congratulations to dad-blogs.com on one year of this fun-filled event. I know I've enjoyed participating for the vast majority of that year. Be sure to check out all of the great dad bloggers over there.

Over the last year, I've chronicled the fun of getting ready for church, attending church, and even trying to sit in the front row at church.

If all of the above wasn't enough to make you tired, last week we added Bab-E Brother's baptism on top of it (HELP! My sucker tattoo is burning like fire on my forehead a la Harry Potter's scar.)

And just to make things even more complicated to spice things up a bit, I decided to pick up a case of gastroenteritis from Little Brother just 24 hours before the baptism, and drop about 6 pounds, thereby making it a challenge for me just to shower, get dressed, and show up.

Of course, we ended up feeding the boys during the service, knowing that they wouldn't make it through church plus the baptism without getting really hungry (and tired and irritable and fussy). This was a great idea, because I can think of no better way to spend church than bending over at my seat, vacuuming up crumbs with my fingers, and apologizing to the lady behind us who had goldfish thrown at her.

Having survived the church service, we started the baptism.

I kept Little Brother occupied by carrying him, while Mom-E held Bab-E Brother.

Big Brother was given the special responsibility of holding the baptismal candle.

While this was originally a great idea for about 30 seconds, to a 5 year-old, a candle becomes a combination Thundercats Sword of Omens/Harry Potter wand, with which to:
a. Swing at your Little Brother
b. Swing at the Baptismal Font
c. All of the above

Correct answer: (c)

Fortunately we made it through the "pour water on his head" part without any small children running away screaming madly.

And then 30 seconds later, small children started running away screaming madly.

It started with Big Brother, who no longer holding a candle, suddenly became unable to stand still. In the blink of an eye, he had eloped.

Now running around the church and through the seats, Mom-E and I were left with the dilemma of wanting to both:
a. Pay close attention to the remainder of the baptismal ceremony.
b. Scream for Big Brother to "Hey, get your @$$ back over here." (Wait a minute, we're at church.)

Monkey-see, monkey-do. Next thing you know, Little Brother is pleading for me "put me down, put me down" while turning his body into a worm, with the unique ability to make his skeleton disappear.

I feel myself heating up due to fever in frustration (hey, can you splash some of that baptismal water over this way to help cool me off). In a moment of futility, my weakness and fatigue starting to get the best of me, I let him go.

And he's off to the races with Big Brother!

Our saving grace is that outside of the officiant, everyone in the church is either family or close friends. Still, my blood is now a gentle, rolling boil of embarassment.

Or is that the virus coursing through my veins?

Either way, after what seems like an eternity, the baptism is over.

Big Brother and Litlle Brother, meanwhile, are at the halfway point of their little Sanctuary 500 race.

During the intermission, we "attempt" (very loosely) to take a family photo. It was a family photo in the sense of all 5 of us were in the picture, even if everyone's eyes and bodies were pointing in different directions.

At this point, I'm pretty much exhausted, and decided to sit down and just chat it up with the godfather, Kid-Nee, while the ladies talk and open presents. Meanwhile, the brothers Big and Little have resumed their race.

And such is life, sometimes, with 3 young boys. You've got to pick your battles.

(In the words of Cousin Eddie, "sometimes you've just gotta let 'em finish, Clark.")

It was a nice baptism. We were thankful for the attendance of our friends and family. We're thankful for Big Brother and Little Brother, who I must remind myself are 5 and 2, and are still pretty good boys and good big brothers.

Congrats, Bab-E Brother, we love you.

Have a good weekend,
Busy-Dad-E

Valentine's Day 2010: Redefining Romantic

Mom-E and I decided we weren't going to do/plan much for Valentine's Day this year.

Multiple factors influenced the decision, including:
-Having a newborn at home.

-Closing soon on our new house (without having sold our current house), which is a joint Valentine's present for the next 30 years or so.

-Still recovering from Bab-E Brother's baptism the day before (I'm still too tired to write about it.)

-Dad-E having lost about 5 pounds in the 2 days prior thanks to getting "stomach flu" from Little Brother.

However, after being cooped up in the house for some 48-odd hours, except for going to church and the baptism, cabin fever (and my desire to eat something other than Gatorade) got the best of us and we decided to get out at dinnertime.

How's this for romantic?
-I managed to shower and put on non-jammy clothes.

-Mom-E went for a run before we left and did not shower (but freshened up).

-I got the boys out of their jammies and back into regular clothes by threatening to sacrifice a Batman figurine with a hammer.

-We drove down the street to Subway.

-Mom-E and I split a footlong turkey sub (but did not kiss in the middle like Lady & the Tramp due to my gastroenteritis).

-Big & Little Brother feasted on chips, green pepper, apples, and chocolate milk.

-Bab-E Brother feasted on turkey sub-flavored Mom-E milk.

-We then piled back into the minivan and drove around for an hour or so. ALL 3 BOYS FELL ASLEEP IN THE MINIVAN.

-ALL 3 BOYS WERE SUCCESSFULLY TRANSFERED FROM MINIVAN TO BED--WITHOUT WAKING UP--AT 7:30 (NEW WORLD RECORD)!

-Before 9pm, dishes were done, lunches packed, laundry folded and put away, and the house decluttered.

-Mom-E and I sat on the couch and enjoyed watching some of the Winter Olympics, particularly the moguls.

-Mom-E informed me that the Valentine's card she bought me was abducted on the way home from the grocery store.

-I informed Mom-E that the Valentine's card I was going to buy was abducted before I had the chance to buy it.

-Mom-E presented me with an 8-pack of white athletic socks, which, incidentally, were purchased the first time she went out shopping with all 3 boys. (You must understand how badly I needed new socks (and hate to buy them), and that this was a most thoughtful gift.)

And yet, in a way, it was all really quite nice. The boys were smiling and contently munching between moments of laughter and questions. Bab-E Brother sat bright-eyed in his carseat staring at a picture of vegetables taking everything in. I still think Mom-E is hot, even if she hasn't showered after running. And the two of us got a "free-pass" on the nightly routine, allowing us to finish up and relax a little earlier.

But for me, it was romantic just being around the people I love the most. (Sure, Mom-E and I can still use the occasional date.)

And, of course, our restful Valentine's sleep was brought to an abrupt close in the 5am hour, owing to 2 boys who went to bed early, and therefore, were early to rise. But such is the chaos that we openly embrace.

See you on Fatherhood Friday,
Busy-Dad-E

A New Way To Potty

I've blogged a lot in the past about the (mis)adventures of taking 2 (soon to be 3--eek!) small boys to go potty.

Despite repeated trips, (loud) requests to "don't touch my butt", and power squats, I find it to be an important and, strangely, enjoyable aspect of fatherhood.

I guess I look at taking my boys potty as not only a responsibility, but also bonding time.

And an important aspect of this responsibility is to train them to be "good citizens of the stall."

You know what I mean, guys. It's on the "final exam."

You walk into a bathroom with five urinals, numbered left-to-right:

1 2 3 4 5

If you walk in and someone is peeing in #1, which urinal do you use (hint: there IS a correct answer here)?

...

#5, of course.

Anyway, I made a vow to myself that I would "train" my boys properly in such matters, so that they'd never think of using #2 (or 3 or 4) in the above scenario.

*****
But, just as Mr. Miyagi said, "First learn stand. Then learn fly."

So one of the first things we're working on is "modesty" while going potty (and afterwards)--not to mention those little parts about flushing and handwashing.

All of the above are challenging at times for a 5 year-old.

For many a moon, one of Big Brother's favorite habits was to run out of the bathroom when he finished, with his pants and underoos still hovering ankle-high, sometimes making it to the "finish line" at the dinner table.

BRIEF DIGRESSION--I'm a big believer that a large amount of children's behavior is learned by imitation. My boys copy an unbelievable amount of what I say and do.

****
Fast forward to the other day.

I come home from work to have Mom-E inform me that Big Brother explained he has a "new way" to go potty.

Apparently he said, "Hey Mom. I learned a new trick. I tried it at school."

Apparently Mom-E did not turn pale (or pass out) after hearing the words
"new, trick, potty, and school" in the same sentence. (I would've.)

Forunately, she was "relieved" with his answer.

In lieu of pants and underoos around the ankles, he's figured out how to "take out only what is essential" when he needs to pee.

Even if it means (and it WILL mean) a few "spraying accidents", (maybe) we're starting to figure out the modesty thing.

That's my boy. That's my boy. You pay attention to detail. You're growing up and I'm proud.

Have a good week,
Busy-Dad-E

While You Were Sleeping

Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone! I'm excited about next week's one-year anniversary of FF. I started participating in this event around March 2009, and if memory serves, have only missed one since "joining." If you need some laughter and a cure for insomnia, you should check out all of the great bloggers over at dad-blogs.com.

Even the third time around, I'm still amazed at how newborns can sleep through almost anything (EXCEPT, of course, being put down in their crib, which is like plunging them in freezing water.)

It's funny to think about all of the daytime activities that babies "miss out" on while they're asleep. So, for Bab-E Brother's benefit, I'll share one of many such examples of what goes on while he's passed out and busy growing.

*****
Dear Bab-E Brother,

You fell asleep in your car seat this week while Mom-E was waiting in the doctor's office for her postpartum visit.

The doctor was running well over an hour late due to an emergency delivery and surgery.

Meanwhile, your Little Brother, who has been battling a stomach virus--to be known as the Diarrhea-nator--managed to soil EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS DIAPERS IN THE DIAPER BAG. Amazingly, he's pretty much been his sweet, happy, usual self, despite needing 97,000 diaper changes a day. His only request while getting changed: "Be gentle."

As Dad-E was back at work and fresh off of paternity leave, I wasn't able to come to the appointment (OR SO I THOUGHT...KEEP READING). That left Mom-E and her track shoes to tote both of you between the waiting room and bathroom for the above-mentioned diaper changes.

At about noon, Mom-E called to let me know that you guys were all stuck waiting in the exam room, and that Little Brother was one more code (liquid) brown away from disaster.

Fortunately, I had just started a lunch break, and was able to drive over to the hospital.

I found the minivan in the parking garage. As I didn't have a set of keys to the minivan we attempted that "trick" where you use your cell phones to do it remotely (word to the wise, this didn't work).

So, I just headed up to the OB's office. For some reason, whenever I tell them I'm there to meet up with my wife, they look at me like they're going to drag me to the firing squad, or like I've just asked to sneak into the girl's locker room.

And so, I politely explained, "My wife is waiting in the exam room for the doctor. Our toddler has a stomach virus, and I need to get the keys from her, so that I can get more diapers from the minivan."

(At which point I fully expected her explode with gut-busting laughter.)

Fortunately, I was rescued by another receptionist, who said, "Are you talking about the lady with two little kids who kept going back-and-forth to the bathroom?"

Yes, those are my children: Bab-E and Diarrhea Boy.

Thereafter I was quickly escorted back to the exam room without further questioning.

I say "Hello" and embrace Mom-E and Little Brother, and pick up the keys, which are resting on the blanket on top of you.

Having seen me and knowing full-well that Little Brother will scream until you wake up unless I take him with me, the two of us leave the exam room and office, and trek back to the parking garage to bear the sub-freezing temperatures.

To my relief, Little Brother has two "emergency diapers" in the trunk. I bring those, some more diapers for you, and some extra wipes "just in-case." Who knows, by the time I get back, there could be an outbreak of explosive diarrhea in the doctor's office.

I'm lucky enough to be greeted by the same receptionist when we return to the doctor's office.

Still, she looks at me puzzledly when I say, "Hi, can we head back to the exam room with the diapers?", as if she was surprised that I came back.

Then time slows down for a split-second, and I can see her having this debate in her head between, "Do I escort him back to the exam room again, or do I just let him find his way back?"

Amazingly, she says, "Do you remember how to get back to the room?"

"Yes." And then I'm able to just waltz back there myself. Apparently if you "pass the test" the first time, they just give you a guest key to the office?

We make it back just as Mom-E's doctor is finishing up.

While you continue to enjoy your zzz's, Mom-E picks you up, puts on your coat, changes your diaper, and straps you back into your car seat.

Together, we go back to the parking lot (my 3rd trip in a span of 15 minutes). I help Mom-E get you boys and our gear in the minivan, and see you off.

I make it back to work only a few minutes late, chuckling at the fact that I got to enjoy seeing you (albeit under unusual circumstances) over lunch, and you had NO CLUE about all of our goings on, having passed out.

I'm tired now. I think I know why you sleep so much!

Love ya, little dude,
Busy-Dad-E

Diaper Connoisseur

I was recently thinking about how diapers are like wine.

"Uh, Busy-Dad-E, are you sure that your food poisoning didn't turn into brain poisoning?"

Maybe.

Or maybe it's just that we have a newborn, plus a toddler with residual diacoflupus, meaning that we change about 97,000 diapers/day right now, giving me too much ample time to think about this.

Nevertheless, just go with US me.

When it comes to wine, some people's tastes are exclusively white, red, or blush.

WHEN IT COMES TO DIAPERS, SOME PEOPLE ARE EXCLUSIVELY PAMPERS, HUGGIES, OR LUVS.

Within each broader category of wine, there are different types.

PAMPERS HAS "CRUISERS" AND "REGULAR".

And some people acquire tastes for different wines over time.

LITTLE BROTHER WAS EXCLUSIVELY PAMPERS FOR A LONG TIME, BUT EVENTUALLY WE TRANSITIONED TO LUVS.

And what some people will drink, say white or red, depends on the meal.

LITTLE BROTHER IS LUVS DURING THE DAY AND PAMPERS AT NIGHT.

Some people spare no expense for wine, while others go for the cheap stuff, and yet more creative types make their own.

PAMPERS CRUISERS ARE A LITTLE MORE EXPENSIVE (BUT GOOD FOR OUR NEWBORN BOY(S) AND FOR TODDLERS AT NIGHT), BUT "ROBUST" (I.E., THEY HOLD A LOT SANS LEAKAGE). LUVS ARE CHEAPER BUT PRACTICAL DURING THE DAY. AND SOME PEOPLE CHOOSE TO MAKE THEIR OWN CLOTH DIAPERS (THAT WOULD NOT BE US).

No matter how great someone claims a particular wine to be, they will have a friend who (politely) disagrees.

SOME PEOPLE SWEAR BY HUGGIES. THAT'S GREAT. FOR OUR BOYS, HUGGIES ARE SYNONYMOUS WITH "LEAKIES".

People may prefer their wine chilled or at room temperature.

DIAPERS CAN ACCOMMODATE BOTH "FLAVORS."

People display unopened bottles of wine in their homes.

WE HAVE AN ENTIRE CLOSET A DIAPER-STACKER FULL OF DIAPERS ON DISPLAY.

You can spend a lot of $$$ on wine.

WE DO SPEND A LOT OF $$$ ON DIAPERS.

I could go on-and-on here, but I need a drink to go change a diaper.

I'd love to hear about your "taste" in diapers--so would the rest of the readers here.

See you on Fatherhood Friday,
Busy-Diaper-Dad-E

Super Bowl XLIV: A Cluckin' Up-Chuckin' Weekend

Hello There,

So this weekend being my last on paternity leave, we partied it up, Busy-Dad-E-style.

On Saturday we went to my newphew, Little Cousin's, 1st birthday party. Big & Little Brother thoroughly enjoyed opening and playing with all of Little Cousin's gifts while he napped watching Little Cousin open his presents. Big Brother was actually a very gentle, helpful present distributor.

All I can say is that a 1 year-old who has homemade pizza and cake at his birthday party ia\s cool, in my book.

The boys were also graced with Big Brother presents from Little Cousin's grandparents. They both got webkins. Little Brother got a puppy that he named, well, Puppy. Big Brother got a triceratops the he named...

Mr. Donkey.

All I can say is my 5 year-old is awesome. C'mon, who wouldn't want to party with a dinosaur named Mr. Donkey?

We ended up staying with Mom-E's family most of the day after the party. We decided that Grampap-E and I would go to Wendy's to pick up dinner.

After much coaxing, and reminding that it would complete his "New Food Chart", resulting in a trip to Target for a small prize, my #1 picky eater actually took a bite of a Wendy's chicken nugget, his first bite of chicken EVER. We were floored.

Due to fatigue and deliriumTo our surprise, Big Brother professed his love for chicken.

"I'm going to tell everyone I know that I eat chicken."

It's about cluckin' time, dude.

And for "dessert", all 3 boys fell asleep in the minivan on the way home, a rare trifecta.

And the party continued long after we got home and the boys were in bed.

I awoke at 3am to nausea so bad I thought I was pregnant.

This "appetizer" was followed by a 3.5-hour course of up-chukin', with some diacoflupus for dessert.

I retched and puked so hard that I have a 6 pack now, and weigh about 5 lbs less. Though I felt like my throat, esophagus, and stomach was swabbed with a hot poker.

In retrospect, by process of elimination, we figure it was my Wendy's side salad.

"What kind of dressing would you like with your salad?"

Oh, do you have a Staph aureus food poisoning? Swell. Good times.

And so you could imagine the wild Super Bowl party we threw yesterday, complete with bananas, rice, crackers, applesauce, gatorade, and--just to spice things up--ginger ale.

For the halftime show, Big Brother has now decided that chiken is yucky and he doesn't want to eat it.

But the company was still stellar, with Little Brother cuddling up next to me and Big Brother repeatedly assuring me that "you'll feel better soon".

I'd suffer through it again if it meant that Big Brother would eat chicken, even just one bite.

Have a good week,
Busy-Dad-E

Front Row Seats

Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone! If you get there early enough, you'll have time to check out all of the great bloggers over at dad-blogs.com.

In the very first month of my blog, I wrote a series of two posts about the trials and tribulations of just getting ready for church, and then the circus that sometimes ensues while attending church with multiple small children.

If you've read these posts, or if you've ever been to church with several children, you might not be surprised to hear that we usually sit in the back at church (when you come-and-go out of the sanctuary up to 10 times an hour, you tend to seek out the "easy escape route".)

However, Mom-E has been attending a women's group at church, and the suggestion was made that if you sit towards the front, it might help the children to be more interested/pay better attention.

Since we have "sucker" tattoos on our forehead this seemed like a reasonable idea, so last week we gave it a try, and sat in the second row.

For the most part, it was actually helpful for Big Brother, who was quite well-behaved.

So well-behaved, in fact, that towards the end of the service he asked Mom-E, reatedly and loudly "Have I been a good boy, and Little Brother was a bad boy?"

Well, buddy, you were doing pretty well until you started saying that so loudly.

And Little Brother wasn't exactly a bad boy...more like an excited boy.

The excitement started early in the service, when Little Brother blurted out (loudly), "I want to kiss Bab-E Brother. I want to kiss him."

So sweet, yet so disruptive. But easier to let him kiss the baby then risk and all-out scream-fest.

Shortly thereafter, Mom-E had to depart to feed Bab-E, and I was left to hold down the fort.

As soon as she left, right at the beginning of the sermon, Little Brother points and very clearly asked out loud, "Who's that guy there? What's he doing?"

(Apparently sitting in the back of the church he didn't realize there was anyone up there.)

Fortunately, I was able to answer his question and calm him down without much further ado.

Satisfied with my answer, Little Brother was content to return to his seat...

And play THUNDERCATS. Yes, our "on-demand" tv service shows re-runs of one of my favorite childhood shows, Thundercats.

The funny part is that Little Brother can't say the word "Thundercats". Instead, he calls them "Butter-cats."

So with his plastic screwdriver doubling as the mystic Sword of Omens, Little Brother pretends he's Lion-O, and proudly hails, "Butter...Butter...Butter-cats! Ho!"

I recognize that many things are "wrong" about the above paragraph, including "why do you let your kid play with a plastic screwdriver at church?"

All I can say is "some kids have blankies and some have stuffed animals that they take with them everywhere. Little Brother has his screwdriver, and if it helps us to get to church (on-time), I can think of worse things."

Third Earth now well-protected, it's of course time for Big Brother to have to pee. (No trip to church is complete without 1-3 trips to the bathroom.)

We pee without incident, power-squats, or butt touching.

We no sooner finish going potty and are about to head back into church, that Big Brother decides he's ready for a "double-header." In contrast to some trips for #2, which have strung out as long as Mom-E's labor, things happened quickly.

And Big Brother was quite proud.

So proud, in fact, that he told me as we were walking back in to church that he was going to tell Mom-E he went poo-poo.

Given everything else my boys had already blurted out, I quickly told him he needed to wait until after church was over.

He didn't wait, but fortunately only whispered this fact to Mom-E.

When church was over, I couldn't help but notice that more people that usual made it a point to say "hello", or make a (nice, polite) comment as they were leaving.

I'm not sure whether that was because they HEARD and SAW the boys throughout the service, or they just saw my SUCKER tattoo glowing a bright, fluorescent green.

It remains to be seen where we'll elect to sit next week. Although the congregation may have already decided for us.

Have a good weekend,
Busy-Dad-E

I Don't Like Like

So, like, the other day, like, Big Brother, like started to insert, like, the word "like" into, like, many of his, like, phrases.

(Not to, like, the extent that, like, I'm, like, doing in this post.)

Mom-E and I were, like, taken a little, like, aback, that he, like, started, like, doing this, because, like, we really, like, don't say "like", like all that much.

We're, like, not really sure, like, where he, like, picked this fun little, like, habit up.

But we are, like, sure that, like, we're going to, like, break him of, like, it.

So as, like, a first, like, step, I, like, need to, like, get rid of, like, any urge, to like, say the word "like."

There. I'm, like, feeling, like better.

Thanks for, like, being so, like, understanding.

Like, see you on, like, Fatherhood Friday,
Busy-like-Dad-E