Thursday, February 4, 2010

Front Row Seats

Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone! If you get there early enough, you'll have time to check out all of the great bloggers over at

In the very first month of my blog, I wrote a series of two posts about the trials and tribulations of just getting ready for church, and then the circus that sometimes ensues while attending church with multiple small children.

If you've read these posts, or if you've ever been to church with several children, you might not be surprised to hear that we usually sit in the back at church (when you come-and-go out of the sanctuary up to 10 times an hour, you tend to seek out the "easy escape route".)

However, Mom-E has been attending a women's group at church, and the suggestion was made that if you sit towards the front, it might help the children to be more interested/pay better attention.

Since we have "sucker" tattoos on our forehead this seemed like a reasonable idea, so last week we gave it a try, and sat in the second row.

For the most part, it was actually helpful for Big Brother, who was quite well-behaved.

So well-behaved, in fact, that towards the end of the service he asked Mom-E, reatedly and loudly "Have I been a good boy, and Little Brother was a bad boy?"

Well, buddy, you were doing pretty well until you started saying that so loudly.

And Little Brother wasn't exactly a bad boy...more like an excited boy.

The excitement started early in the service, when Little Brother blurted out (loudly), "I want to kiss Bab-E Brother. I want to kiss him."

So sweet, yet so disruptive. But easier to let him kiss the baby then risk and all-out scream-fest.

Shortly thereafter, Mom-E had to depart to feed Bab-E, and I was left to hold down the fort.

As soon as she left, right at the beginning of the sermon, Little Brother points and very clearly asked out loud, "Who's that guy there? What's he doing?"

(Apparently sitting in the back of the church he didn't realize there was anyone up there.)

Fortunately, I was able to answer his question and calm him down without much further ado.

Satisfied with my answer, Little Brother was content to return to his seat...

And play THUNDERCATS. Yes, our "on-demand" tv service shows re-runs of one of my favorite childhood shows, Thundercats.

The funny part is that Little Brother can't say the word "Thundercats". Instead, he calls them "Butter-cats."

So with his plastic screwdriver doubling as the mystic Sword of Omens, Little Brother pretends he's Lion-O, and proudly hails, "Butter...Butter...Butter-cats! Ho!"

I recognize that many things are "wrong" about the above paragraph, including "why do you let your kid play with a plastic screwdriver at church?"

All I can say is "some kids have blankies and some have stuffed animals that they take with them everywhere. Little Brother has his screwdriver, and if it helps us to get to church (on-time), I can think of worse things."

Third Earth now well-protected, it's of course time for Big Brother to have to pee. (No trip to church is complete without 1-3 trips to the bathroom.)

We pee without incident, power-squats, or butt touching.

We no sooner finish going potty and are about to head back into church, that Big Brother decides he's ready for a "double-header." In contrast to some trips for #2, which have strung out as long as Mom-E's labor, things happened quickly.

And Big Brother was quite proud.

So proud, in fact, that he told me as we were walking back in to church that he was going to tell Mom-E he went poo-poo.

Given everything else my boys had already blurted out, I quickly told him he needed to wait until after church was over.

He didn't wait, but fortunately only whispered this fact to Mom-E.

When church was over, I couldn't help but notice that more people that usual made it a point to say "hello", or make a (nice, polite) comment as they were leaving.

I'm not sure whether that was because they HEARD and SAW the boys throughout the service, or they just saw my SUCKER tattoo glowing a bright, fluorescent green.

It remains to be seen where we'll elect to sit next week. Although the congregation may have already decided for us.

Have a good weekend,


  1. I am so glad the church we attend has child care. 4YO goes to kids church and the 1&2 YOs go to the toddler room.

    So instead of having to deal with the anxiety of feeling I'm being judged I just have anxiety by watching the monitor that flashes their number.

  2. What a cute post! I've always noticed that Big brother is especially well behaved at church! haha its funny that he asked about it loudly! GOod luck this coming Sunday!! love aunt-e

  3. young kids are a handful to take anywhere including church! lol i think your boys did well could have been worse :0) btw be grateful that you don't have girls...the ever ending need to 'go to the bathroom' lasts w them for a lifetime haha (though we know as they get older it's more of a conversation place lol)

  4. At the church I attend we have a "Cry Room." It has a glass wall in front and a speaker so the worshippers can still attend, yet not feel "on display" when their children get distracted. However, many parents feel they and their children should be a part of the congregation, not segregrated, so they sit among everyone else. Personally, I like it this way. I love hearing the sounds of children in church. It makes me feel hopeful. Children make me smile.

  5. Happy to hear the boys are getting better at the whole church experience.

  6. @Eric: I think the monitor would make me more anxious.

    @Aunt-E: I wish I could say that Big Brother has always been good at church.

    @Ciara: For boys, we go to the bathroom A LOT during church.

    @Surprised Mom: I agree with you. Our boys will never learn to behave in church unless they're given the opportunity to do so.

    @OShea: Yep, it's a work in progress.

  7. That's very funny - you had me laughing. We've found that dealing with the little ones make it very hard to enjoy the church service. Our 10 month old has decided he doesn't want to stay in the nursery anymore, so we pretty much sit in the foyer with him. Fun times! Thankfully, 5 and 6 yr olds are finally doing well going to their Sunday School class, so we know it gets better eventually!

  8. @Steve: I only wish we could get our 5 year old to go to the "children's church."