Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Pooper Helpers

I'm about to comment on an "Issue That Must Not Be Named" today: pooping and privacy.

As parents of young children, let's face it, we deal with a lot of poop (LITERALLY and FIGURATIVELY!).

And when it comes to my boys and poop, I take the lead. Not because Mom-E is unwilling (far from it), but rather since they're boys we approach potty time as "it's a boy thing".

If I had a nickel for every poopy diaper I've changed...well...I'd have a LOT of nickels.

I'm sure there are plenty out there who would disagree, but imho newborn poop (for those of you no longer suffering from fatigue-induced amnesia)--that is from those first weeks of life when you go through 48 diapers/day--really doesn't smell at all. I think this is a gift from God to the parents (in addition to the baby themselves, of course).

And even after a child is potty trained, many times they still want you in the bathroom when they poop.

Big Brother, who errs on the side of constipation, often says, "Dad-E can you come sit in here." I've worn a small groove in the rug, where I often sit and read a story to "pass" the time.

(Not that I ever did the same as a young child. No, not me.)

And we've tried to talk about (and work on) the importance of privacy while going to the bathroom.

Big Brother is still working on this concept. Sometimes he'll run to the bathroom screaming, "I need privacy," only to run back (to the table) moments later, his pants and underwear hanging down at the level of his ankles.

Umm, Big Brother, we need privacy, too.

We've tried to explain the whole privacy issue applies to Dad-E's (and Mom-E's) as well.

Even with noble intentions, if I go potty (and hence am gone from the room), it's like "moths to a flame."

The boys will make a bee line for the bathroom, flinging the door open to pretty much just say "hello."

Feeding off of the boys' excitement, the dog invariably rushes in, too.

And now I'm trying to "drop the kids off at the pool" while ushering 2 boys and a dog out of the room.

I guess they consider themselves my "Pooper Helpers."

My "favorite" was when Little Brother barged in on me and said, "Dad-E go poo-poo?"

"Yes. All done." I replied.

He proceeded to clap his hands for me and cheer, "Yay, Dad-E!"

(Okay, so we cheer and clap for our kids to help their pott-E training. Obviously it's been effective :)

Perhaps we should be more consistent about locking the door (which tends to result in bangs and screams of protest), except for the fact that the latch mechanism really doesn't work so well on that door.

Making things even more difficult, when I get home from work, Little Brother pretty much expects that I'm going to carry him around for the next 2 hours. Even if I say, "I'm going to set you down for a minute to get your milk," he still often has a minor tantrum.

If I have to go to the bathroom, he doesn't care. The message is "don't put me down. Take me with you."

He is perfectly content to hang out in the bathroom while I take care of business.

(And I'm not a newborn.)

Of course, at some point in the (VERY NEAR) future we'll have to put a stop to this behavior. But for now, sometimes you just have to pick your battles.

And now you know, in part, why my blog is anonymous.

Have a good week and close the door,


  1. I know of your woes. It is only in recent months (after 15 years of parenting) that I have been able to use the bathroom or take a shower without a parade ensuing. And now the puppy is always trying to be at my side every waking moment of the day.

  2. Our son is 11 months and he has to go everywhere with us. When his mother goes to the bathroom he will sit outside the door and cry and beat on the door forever. He will do this the entire length of her shower if you let him. Of course this is less awkward than kids your age, but it looks like I will have the same issues later in his life.

  3. LOL, you are not the only one. I have not taken a shower alone in a long time. Rosi