Thursday, January 26, 2012

To Pee Or Not To Pee

As noted recently, Bab-E Brother is starting to show interest in the big boy potty.

While this is wonderful, it is simultaneously exhausting to Mom-E and I, upon which I will expound in the form of Hamlet's favorite soliloquy:

To pee, or not to pee--that is the question:
Whether 'tis harder on the bladder to suffer
The pain and anguish of holding it in
Or to just let it flow henceforth
And by urinating end it. To pee, to diaper--
No more--and by a pee to say we end
The bladder distention, and the thousand cc's
That lie inside there. 'Tis a scary thing
That Mom-E and Dad-E wish for. To pee, to diaper--
To diaper--perchance to pee in the tub: ay, there's the out,
For in that pee-pee potty what (big boy) dreams may come
When we pee in this diaper no more,
Must give us big boy underwear. There's the respect
That makes a boy proud life long.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of incontinence,
The oops-I-peed-my-pants wrong, the proud boy's tantrum
The pangs of diaper changes, the storytime delay,
The insolence of toddlerhood, and the spurns
of older brothers who do this all the time,
When Bab-E Brother himself might his urinatus make
(Standing) With a bare behind? Who would be a big boy,
To scream and cry in a weary tub that you have to go
But that the dread of falling in and flushing
The undiscovered sewer pipe, from whose hollows
No pee returns, puzzles the urinator
And makes us rather bear the pain of not peeing
Than letting it fly into places we have not peed?
Thus normal childhood fears does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of clear water resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale straw yellow cast from within,
And enterprise of great stream and relief
With this regard his urinary current turns awry
And lose the name of urinary retention. -- Soft you now,
The fair Bab-E Brother! -- Toddler, in thy orisons

Until then, I gotta go!

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