The Good, the Bad, and the Just Plain Mean

I'm going to tackle an unpleasant topic today, mostly because I'm (pretty) sure it's something we've all encountered as parents.

It's usually late at night, when they're tired, hungry, or just plain cranky and frustrated, but sometimes my boys (mostly Big Brother as the oldest) yell say some pretty hurtful things.

And what makes it worse is that Little Brother is a parrott, repeating everything Big Brother says.

I'm not talking about swearing here, but things that are just plain mean or horrible.

Now I recognize that sometimes children don't comprehend the ramifications of what they've said, perhaps because it relates to a concept that they don't fully understand.

And I recognize that most of the time these phrases blurt out when a child is so tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed, that they're really just purging negative emotions. Or they aren't getting their way.

But they still hurt.

For us, it started some time ago when Big Brother wasn't getting his way with something, and he blurted out "Go to jail, Dad-E!"

I forget exactly how/when we'd talked about jail. Probably started with a polic car pulling someone over putting a car in "time-out."

At other times, Big Brother has yelled, "Die, Little Brother (or insert other object of anger)!" in response to a scuffle over a toy. Again, we don't yet understand the finality of death.

And just the other night, Big Brother was beside himself because he didn't want to brush his teeth, and he yelled at me, "I want a new Dad-E."

Talk about a drop-kick and 1-2 punch to the groin. That one stung pretty bad. I don't care if he was tired and crabby. There are some things you just don't say.

And so at that point, I informed him that for saying those things, we weren't going to read another story, and that it was time for bed.

Of course, that met with more screams, pleas for more stories, and calls for a "new Dad-E."

At that point, I left the room to quell the mutiny, muttering that perhaps he should ask his "new Dad-E" to read him a story.

*****
So now that I've got everyone feeling good 'n horrible, I'll leave you with a funny--albeit related--story.

Sorry, Mom-E, but you're about to be picked on.

When Mom-E was school age, one night she wanted to stay up past her bedtime to watch "Alice in Wonderland" (I think that was the show.)

However, Gramm-E and Grampap said "No." :(

Mom-E was so upset, that she wrote them a letter about how upset she was, something like "you're such bad parents."

BUT THE BEST PART WAS HOW SHE CLOSED AND SIGNED THE LETTER.

"I hate you. Love, Mom-E."

That's my dear wife. Sweet to the core, even when she's stark-raving angry.

See you on Fatherhood Friday,
Busy-Dad-E